Kindred Keri: Feeling Hurt When Someone Ghosted Me

Why do I feel hurt by someone who has ghosted me? We have only been on one date. He messages on and off, then it's sometimes days before I hear anything from him. Do I wait for him? Do I stop messaging him?

Kindred Keri says:

It's completely natural to feel hurt and unsettled by someone who has ghosted you, even if you’ve only been on one date. When someone ghosts us, it often feels like a rejection, leaving us questioning our worth and wondering what we did wrong. But the truth is, ghosting is more about the other person's inability to communicate effectively or handle their own emotions than it is about you.

In your case, it sounds like the communication has been inconsistent from the start. This can be a red flag that the person might not be ready or interested in a serious connection. While it's tempting to wait and hope for clarity, it’s important to prioritize your own emotional well-being. Constantly waiting for someone who isn’t fully present can be exhausting and unproductive.

If he’s not giving you the consistent and respectful communication you deserve, it might be best to take a step back. You don’t need to keep messaging someone who isn’t fully engaging with you. Instead, focus on yourself and the things that make you happy. Trust that someone who values and respects you will communicate openly and consistently. Remember, you deserve someone who is excited to be in touch and to build something meaningful. 

Wishing you clarity and peace,