Mike Devlin Asks Why Did You Buy That?
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Go have a look in your kitchen drawers and cupboards, and I can almost guarantee that you will find a utensil or gadget that you haven't used in months.
I'm right, aren't I? It may have seemed like a great idea at the time, but it's either utterly redundant or taking up way too much space. C'mon! A garlic press? Are you kidding me? You waste a quarter of the bulb when you use it, then you forget to immediately clean it, so that when you do finally remember it takes forever. Get rid of it. Use a knife instead. I need to take a proper look at your kitchen now.
And what is that? You separate egg yolks with it? This is getting silly! Use your hands or, I dunno, the actual eggshell your egg came in. Speaking of eggs, why do you have a standalone electric egg poacher? Did you forget where you put your pan? You are better than this.
Now I find a burger press! What is wrong with using your hands? And why exactly do you own a mandolin? Are you a professional? No, you're not, so why do you have one? Use a knife or even a large peeler.
What is this at the back of your drawer? A strawberry huller? You paid good money on something that you A, can use a small knife for, and B, isn't necessary in the first place.
I will give you the electric can opener because you're getting on a bit and it's easier for you, but I am not allowing the electric carving knife; what is this, the 1970s? They are noisy, flimsy, and a pain to clean. Use a knife!
When was the last time you used that popcorn maker? You don't remember, do you? Never thought of simply using a pan and putting a lid on it, no.
And why do you insist on buying expensive containers that look like the thing you're putting in them? It's silly. Stop it.
You bought a Bluetooth kettle, didn't you ... words fail me. And now I've found an egg cracker. Are you not able to break an egg by yourself?
That's it. I am outta here because if I find out you've bought pizza scissors, we're done.
