Preach It, But Live It Too: Why Judgy Christians Miss the Point

I’ll be honest—this post has been on my heart for a long time. As Christians, we are called to reflect Christ’s love, to walk in humility, and to help each other grow in faith. But what happens when those who preach about finding God are the very ones pushing people away with their actions?

I’ve seen it too many times. A person is struggling—whether it’s with their faith, their finances, their relationships, or their mental health—and instead of being met with compassion, they are met with judgment.

"Well, if they trusted God more, they wouldn’t be in this situation."

"Maybe if they prayed harder, they wouldn’t be struggling."

"God must be punishing them for something."

These words hurt. They don’t heal. And worse, they are completely contrary to the Gospel.

Years ago, I was in a really difficult place. Life had thrown me a series of punches—some financial struggles, a painful betrayal, and a spiritual dryness that made me feel distant from God. I was still showing up at church, still reading my Bible, still praying, but I was barely holding on.

I remember confiding in someone from church, hoping for encouragement. Instead, I got a disapproving shake of the head and a half-hearted, “Maybe you need to examine your faith more. God bless.”

That was it. No prayer, no encouragement, no effort to understand what I was going through. Just judgment.

It stung. It made me question if I even belonged in the church. But more than that, it made me realize how dangerous it is when Christians forget that grace, not judgment, is what brings people closer to God.

If we look at Jesus, He never condemned the brokenhearted. He didn’t scold the woman caught in adultery—He defended her (John 8:1-11). He didn’t shame the Samaritan woman at the well—He spoke to her with kindness and revealed Himself to her (John 4:7-26). He didn’t look down on the tax collectors and sinners—He sat with them (Mark 2:15-17).

Jesus knew their full stories. And instead of judging, He showed them love, which led to transformation.

Yet, some modern Christians do the opposite. They judge before they listen. They condemn before they understand.

When Christians develop a habit of judging others without knowing their story, they risk:

Pushing people away from God – Instead of feeling loved and encouraged, struggling individuals feel rejected and unworthy.

Misrepresenting Christ – If Jesus led with love, why do some of His followers lead with criticism?

Becoming like the Pharisees – The Pharisees followed religious laws but lacked love, which made them blind to the heart of God (Matthew 23:23-28).

This is why it’s so important to check our own hearts before we assume anything about someone else’s journey.

So, what does a real, Christ-like response look like when someone is going through a hard time?

Listen before you speak – Maybe they don’t need a lecture; maybe they just need someone to sit with them in their pain.

Pray for them, not against them – Instead of assuming their struggles are a punishment, pray that God strengthens and guides them.

Show grace – Remember that one day, it could be you who needs understanding and support.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of judgmental Christianity, I want you to know: God sees you. He knows your heart, your struggles, and your pain. He is not sitting on His throne looking down on you with disappointment—He is right there with you, offering His love and grace.

And to those of us who have been guilty of judging others (because, let’s be real, we’ve all done it at some point), let’s ask God to soften our hearts. Let’s be the kind of Christians who reflect Christ’s love, not push people away from it.

Because at the end of the day, when we stand before God, He won’t ask how many people we corrected—He’ll ask how well we loved.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

Have you ever experienced judgment when you needed grace?