Kindred Keri: My Sister Feeds Her Children Too Much Sugar

My younger sister, who’s 25, has two boys aged 4 and 3, and they’re all super hyperactive. She’s always complaining. One day, I visited her place and saw her packing food for the kids to take to school. What she packed shocked me—it was mostly cakes, cookies, pretzels, canned fruit, and juice, but no water. 

I pointed out, “That’s a lot of sugar. Don’t you think that’s a bit too much?” She got really upset and told me I had no right to comment on her parenting since I’m not a parent myself. How do I make her realise this is not healthy for her children?

Kindred Keri says:

It sounds like you're in a tricky situation, and I can understand your concern for your nephews' well-being. It's clear that you're coming from a place of care, especially regarding the amount of sugar and processed foods they are consuming, which could certainly contribute to their hyperactivity.

However, as you've discovered, commenting on someone’s parenting—especially when you’re not a parent yourself—can be a sensitive topic. Your sister likely feels defensive, as she may interpret your comments as criticism of her ability to care for her children. Parenting can be overwhelming, and sometimes, even well-meaning advice can feel like an attack.

That said, you’re not wrong to worry about the dietary habits of the children. Excessive sugar can have significant effects on both physical health and behaviour. But rather than confronting her with criticism, you might consider a gentler approach. Express empathy for her challenges and perhaps open up a conversation where you offer support instead of judgment. For example, you might say, “I know how tough it is for you managing three little ones, and I can imagine it must feel exhausting at times. Have you ever thought about how different foods might help with their energy levels? I’d love to help you if you’re ever interested in exploring some new options.”

At the end of the day, you can’t control her choices, but by positioning yourself as an ally, you may be able to offer guidance that’s more likely to be well-received.