Scars that Shine: Julie Hayes, And My Voice Came Out

Grace Tame is an Australian activist, survivor and advocate of survivors of sexual assault. At 26 she was named Australian of the Year for her work in having legislation changed so that survivors could speak out publicly.

The campaign rode in on the back of the ‘MeToo ‘ movement and was called, ‘Let Her Speak.‘

When Grace spoke at the National Press Club of Australia on the 9th of February 2022 I sat ramrod still transfixed by her every word. Her words were words about me, to me. Her words were words about all the little people who lived behind closed doors and hadn’t spoken.

Mothers daughters, aunts, grandmas, sisters, friends and not to forget the brothers, nephews … some of the children I worked with. Tears streamed down my face and a feeling rose in me that I had never felt before. It was like something was peeling off my chest, a cover of carefully curated indifference I didn’t know was there. It physically hurt like slowly peeling an enormous emotional band-aid off the hairy arse of reason. An intense rendering of 59 years of silence.

Hope unravelled in my chest, here was change , here was a chance for everything to be different . Here I guiltily admitted to myself was punishment edged with a trim of revenge, thoughts and feelings I never allowed myself to have.  Here…was a reason to speak.

I cannot tell you exactly what she said, what words she used or even describe what she was wearing. I only know that something hardened in me at the reality of what she said, at the wrongness of all she shone a light on. I don’t even think she was saying anything new. 
Yet finally after all these years I understood ….  it wasn’t good enough. What happened to me wasn’t good enough, the excuses that I made for the adults in my life who were supposed to protect me weren’t good enough anymore.

When Grace Tame finished 26 minutes and three seconds later my life was irrevocably changed. Mostly for the good but for some things ignorance had been kinder. Growth should come with a warning label I think.

“That was hard to watch .”  

My husband asked “Are you okay? “

I opened my mouth…. And my voice came out.