Mike Devlin's Lasagne Recipe
... or lasagna if you are in America. Much like with some Indian dishes, the name comes not from the dish but from the cooking vessel. In this case, it refers to 'cooking pot' (lasanum), or if not, then possibly a flatbread (laganon). There is also some Greek influence here (thanks Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, you sexy couple you), which is why moussaka is a thing, but it's been around for over 2,000 years.
Lasagne can be a simple dish, but it can also be complicated, so let's see if we can find a happy middle ground and one that keeps the method relaxed. Facciamo cuocere ...
WHAT YOU NEED
Olive Oil
1kg/2lb Minced/ground beef
Couple of rashers of bacon
A large onion
4 cloves of garlic
A large handful of mushrooms
Couple of bell peppers
Half a Courgette/Zucchini
Smoked paprika
Oregano
Marjoram
Can of chopped tomatoes
Tomato paste
Anchovies
Worcestershire sauce
Red wine
S&P
METHOD
Again, beyond the beef (and try to go for nothing higher than 10% fat), there really are no measurements. If you are used to me by now, you know this already, but for those who are not, no worries, I will walk you through this every step of the way - I got ya.
You will also notice that there are a couple of bits missing, but fear not! We will get there.
Grab your garlic cloves, take the root end off, remove the hard skin, and place on a piece of foil. Drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle S&P, wrap up and place into the oven for 20 minutes at 180c/360f.
Next up, we will throw in the beef with a little oil. Pan fry this off until browned, and remove into a bowl, reserving the meat juices in the pan. Now chop up the bacon and add that cooking it in the pan. Once done, empty into the bowl with the beef. Again, leave the meat juices.
Slice your onion up. Put in the pan on a low heat, then give the pan a stir. Grab your peppers and cube it all up as well, and throw it into the pan. Guess what you're doing to the courgette - yup, dice it up, and it goes.
Remove the garlic and smush it up. Go at it. Obliterate it. Add to the pan, please.
Finally, chop up the mushrooms into small diced pieces (obviously) and into the pan - give everything a good stir.
In fact, if you want to stir it at any time, you go right ahead; don't leave it for me to remind you. We do need the herbs and spices, though, so a good pinch of each (nah, a bit more than that), but don't add any salt yet. Another stir.
Done that? A little bit of a mess, but it's fine. Just don't stir it with such vigour next time, yes?
We still have the sundried tomatoes, tomato paste, red wine, Worcestershire sauce, anchovies, and a can of chopped tomatoes to add. Get a few tomatoes from the jar and dice them up (in they go), dice up about 4 or 5 anchovies (yup, they go in), a good squirt of paste - probably 2-3 tbsps - a glass of red wine, making sure there's enough for you, a few dashes of Worcester, and the entire can of chopped tomatoes.
This will obviously lower the temperature, so give it a moment to raise back up whilst you give it a stir.
So. Much. Stirring!
Now return the meat to the pan, and, yes, a stir.
Will this stirring ever stop?
Actually, kind of, because now it needs reducing. Not too thick, not too sloppy. It will occasionally need a stir to prevent what is on the bottom from sticking and burning, but keep the temperature low - make haste, not speed, or however that phrase goes.
Have a taste. Not seasoned enough (this is why we leave the salt until the end)? Add a little more. It's always easier to add than to take away (just like a good relationship). Once you're happy with it, remove it from the heat, and it's done. If you find it too sour or bitter, add a little sugar until you're happy again.
Ah, but the lasagne sheets, Bechemal, and cheese? Well, yes, we need that.
The sheets I thoroughly recommend buying the ones that cook in the lasagne. Again, buy the best you can afford.
As for the Bechemal, well ... you could go and buy it pre-made, or you could make it yourself. But we will get to that. As in, we will get to that now.
Bonus bit!
Bechemal.
There are exacting recipes out there, obviously, but I don't do it like that (again, obviously), and simply grab myself butter, flour, milk, garlic, S&P, and a small onion.
Melt some butter in a pan on very low heat, and throw in a couple of finely diced or grated garlic cloves with some S&P. Add enough flour so that we can create a ball that isn't too tough but neither is it too soft. Cook for a minute or so. Add milk slowly and keep stirring very slowly to combine.
Add more, and repeat.
Add a little more milk. Hmm ... it looks a little sloppy, but do keep stirring, bringing the thicker bits up from the bottom of the pan and incorporating it all in. It will all come together whether it appears too thick or too thin.
Now, it's starting to look good, but we will need more liquid soon. But we are not going to use milk again; we are going to use natural plain yoghurt - yeah, that's right, I said yoghurt. What this will add is a lovely tang to the dish that, whilst noticeable, will not be overbearing. We will need probably about 3tbsps of it. Don't stop stirring! Yes, I know it looks a little thin, but it will thicken up (and at the bottom is where that starts first, hence the stirring).
Add the onion sliced in half, giving an occasional stir (yes, this recipe should simply be called 'Stirring'). We may even have thrown in some bay leaves, who knows!
As we are making a lasagne with this, we will add some good strong cheese; this will work beautifully with the tang. We don't want to go crazy with the cheese, but we do need to know it is kind of there. Keep it all on the heat until the cheese is practically melted. When it is, fish the onion and bay leaves out, and it's ready (or you could just buy it pre-done, as I suggested).
Get yourself a good oven-proof dish (a lasagne, if you will), and put a thin layer of meat down. On top of this, a little sauce. It is important to make each layer thin - you might think there isn't much there, but in this case, less is more, so the more layers you have, the better it will be.
Place lasagne sheets on top of the sauce (this is easier if the meat has cooled down, as it will cause the sheets to fold up if hot), then meat, then sauce, then sheets, and so on, until you get to run out of meat.
Does it matter what is the top layer, as in meat or pasta? No, it doesn't. Pour Bechamel all over the top to cover and put copious amounts of grated Parmesan on that.
Bake at 180c/360f for 30 minutes. Serve with garlic bread and a fresh salad.
It will be sloppier than you thought as soon as it comes out of the oven. Restaurants make lasagne in advance, cook it, then allow it to cool before portioning it up and storing it for up to 3 days in the fridge. This gives it a lot of stability. When making lots of it, it can go into the freezer as portions for up to 3 months, whereby they are removed, defrosted, and then reheated to order.
There we have it, restaurant-quality lasagne. You can add other vegetables, and you could add some diced chorizo if you wish (the brick red colouring and flavours add wonderfulness), or you could make it spicier. This is your lasagne, no one else's; I guide you, but you are the Captain.