Kindred Keri: Pet Birthday Parties
I have a question about pet birthday parties. In some of my local groups, I have been getting posts invites to attend their pet's birthday party, on the condition that the guest will pay for their own meals.
I admit this might be a good way to meet new people and socialise with their pets, it seems weird to use a birthday party to do so. I think if you are hosting birthday parties, regardless for who, the host should pay for the event. Guests can then chip in via a gift of some sort.
Maybe this is a new trend. What do you think?
Kindred Keri says:
I'm sure this isn't universal, but I'm finding a lot of people (particularly post-COVID) are searching for reasons to connect and celebrate. Another example I see a lot is parents celebrating their children "graduating" to the next year level at school. The first time I saw that, I felt it was ridiculous, but then I thought about the types of posts people put on their Facebook these days. A nice photo that your family and friends can comment on that makes us feel "seen" is viewed as vain these days. So I'm sure many are subconsciously looking for a reason to get that connection, however tenuously.
Sadly, it seems like people aren't confident enough to say "I'd like to catch up with people but can't afford to host, lets do a pot-luck" and have to come up with a reason to celebrate. I think most people are feeling the pinch a little more than they used to: who can afford to host a dozen people these days without their being a reason?
These kind of events are really about the intersection of a change in how we live: we're both more and less connected than we ever were. Our villages are online, and each post is scrutinised and judged, and we're less physically connected than ever, so our pets have become essential supports. We're experiencing almost universal inflation of food prices, and wages aren't keeping pace.
In short, I don't think it's *usual*, but I'm not sure this crosses any etiquette lines: being clear about what is expected is good communication, and while I think it's more appropriate to ask people to provide a dish if they're coming along to an event you're hosting, this is okay, too.
It's also perfectly fine to decide it's not for you, either the puppy parties or being asked to pay for your meal. Why not throw your own event if you want to make connections but not quite in this way?